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T.J. Flathead was son of King Mumberthrax and one of the Twelve Flatheads. He served as a Squire in the Royal Army when his garrison was assigned the mission to retake The Stonewall from rebellious natives. The ensuing Battle of The Stonewall lasted for seven weeks during which he lost 75% of his men. He displayed brilliant tactics and strategies until they took command of The Stonewall. The victory earned T.J. the name "Stonewall" Flathead. It was then discovered that the natives were actually vacationing in the Gray Mountains and the reports of the rebellious capture had been erroneous.

Stonewall rose through the ranks and became General of the Royal Army. For the following 34 years he stopped provincial rebellions and over 12000 tax riots, who apparently were caused by Dimwit Flathead's overtaxation. His army suffered a 98% casualty during these conflicts, but the losses were countered by his unlimited conscription powers.

In 789 GUE the Military Hero fought the Battle of Ragweed Gulch when he was accidentally shot by one of his men, an effect of Megaboz's Curse.


  • Stonewall is named after Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson, an American Civil War Confederate general, who was accidentally killed by his own troops.