- “Mumberthrax's place in history was secured by the one thing at which the Flatheads tended to excel: procreation. He sired twelve amazing children; twelve offspring who would transform the kingdom. As these magnificent siblings grew in notoriety, as their vast achievements became legendary, they became known as The Twelve Flatheads.”
- ―Boswell Barwell
Twelve Flatheads refers to the greater part of the Thirteen Significant Accomplishments of their father, King Mumberthrax the Insignificant.
The first of the twelve, Dimwit was born in 723 GUE, 25 years before the birth of the youngest, Babe. They were all raised by Nanny Beeble and loved playing with blocks (with teams of slaves to move the larger ones). They died all on 14 Mumberbur 789 GUE because of the Curse of Megaboz.
The Twelve Flatheads were:
- Dimwit Flathead (b. 723 GUE)
- John D. Flathead (b. 725 GUE)
- T. J. "Stonewall" Flathead (b. 726 GUE)
- Johann Sebastian Flathead (b. 728 GUE)
- J. Pierpont Flathead (b. 730 GUE)
- Thomas Alva Flathead (b. 730 GUE)
- Leonardo Flathead (b. 731 GUE)
- Lucrezia Flathead (b. 735 GUE)
- Ralph Waldo Flathead (b. 737 GUE)
- John Paul Flathead (b. 738 GUE)
- Frank Lloyd Flathead (b. 741 GUE)
- Babe Flathead (b. 748 GUE)
They were commemorated in The Lives of the Twelve Flatheads and Flathead Calendar.
Final resting place[]
Although several of the twelve bodies were never recovered, the Cavern of Doom contains there "Crypt of Death" with 12 stone coffins. A sign on the wall says "HERE LIE THE FINAL REMAINS OF THE FLATHEADS, RULERS OF THE GREAT UNDERGROUND EMPIRE", although it is possible that it refers to some final Kings of GUE.
There is also an underground crypt in the Eastlands guarded by the Cerberus, is advertised as holding the mortal remains of the Twelve. This archaeological dilemma has never been adequately solved, but it is commonly believed that the crypt merely holds accurate models of the heads of the Flatheads. Falsehood-in-advertising charges are currently being investigated against the author of the following sign over the crypt: "Here lie the Flatheads, whose heads were placed on poles by the keeper of the Dungeon for amazing untastefulness."