- "Mumberthrax's place in history was secured by the one thing at which the Flatheads tended to excel: procreation. He sired twelve amazing children; twelve offspring who would transform the kingdom. As these magnificent siblings grew in notoriety, as their vast achievements became legendary, they became known as The Twelve Flatheads."
- —Boswell Barwell
The first of the twelve, Dimwit was born in 723 GUE, 25 years before the birth of the youngest, Babe. They were all raised by Nanny Beeble and loved playing with blocks (with teams of slaves to move the larger ones). They died all on 14 Mumberbur 789 GUE because of the Curse of Megaboz.
The Twelve Flatheads were:
- Dimwit Flathead (b. 723 GUE)
- John D. Flathead (b. 725 GUE)
- T. J. "Stonewall" Flathead (b. 726 GUE)
- Johann Sebastian Flathead (b. 728 GUE)
- J. Pierpont Flathead (b. 730 GUE)
- Thomas Alva Flathead (b. 730 GUE)
- Leonardo Flathead (b. 731 GUE)
- Lucrezia Flathead (b. 735 GUE)
- Ralph Waldo Flathead (b. 737 GUE)
- John Paul Flathead (b. 738 GUE)
- Frank Lloyd Flathead (b. 741 GUE)
- Babe Flathead (b. 748 GUE)
Although several of the twelve bodies were never recovered, an underground crypt in the Eastlands guarded by the Cerberus, is advertised as holding the mortal remains of the Twelve. This archaeological dilemma has never been adequately solved, but it is commonly believed that the crypt merely holds accurate models of the heads of the Flatheads. Falsehood-in-advertising charges are currently being investigated against the author of the following sign over the crypt: "Here lie the Flatheads, whose heads were placed on poles by the keeper of the Dungeon for amazing untastefulness."